Everyone has a story...

I got into Storytelling a few years ago. It’s a cool skill to have - being able to talk about a time in my life and what I learned.  It brings a feeling of connectedness, challenges me to use my words carefully and is just fun.

I was talking with a fellow storyteller recently and I said, “We all have our stories and these are the places we’re coming from.”

I paused and thought about one of the Four Agreements from the Book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. If you’re not familiar with the Four Agreements, it discusses four Toltec Wisdom principles to live by. If you do that, Ruiz says, you can end your suffering as you navigate life.

Well, count me in on that.

The principle it made me think of was “Don’t take anything personally.” Ruiz talks about how people are operating from their own filters when they are in situations with us and so how they react, even if it is angrily, has nothing to do with us. It’s their experiences and their feelings around those experiences that is motivating the reactions they and we have.

Storytelling gives me the change to look at my past and situations, how I’ve handled them, how I’ve felt about them and how I’ve operated since. It’s been interesting that crafting 5 minute stories has had me pause to look at how I’ve dealt with some painful things - my dad’s death, divorce, other people’s illnesses and even my high school years. In doing that, it’s helped me take a fresh look at me - what have I carried all this time? Could it have influenced some of the decisions I’ve made.  Definitely.

When people do things, it actually is coming from them and their lenses, what they’ve experienced and what they need. It doesn’t mean it’s selfish - maybe sometimes it is - but maybe it’s just what they know or have fears about. Something that seems innocuous to us could be upsetting or have a different feeling in someone else’s mind.

Does that mean we need to excuse bad or harmful behavior? 

No.  At least we know that their behavior is coming from them and we can just react from our place. We can be complex human beings but the more we understand how we are, the more we can find peace with ourselves and with others.

So everyone has a story - maybe we know what it is, maybe we’ll never know. If you can remember that people are coming from where they are - and not because of us - we can understand how things happen, have compassion and understand and then decide whether or not we want to discuss, hug/elbow bump with the person or even walk away.

And maybe you want to look at your stories - how do you feel you operate from them?

Does it need a look? 

Or is it something you’re very proud of and overcome things? 

Sometimes we need to acknowledge how we’ve done good. 

And that’s a wonderful story.