Making Gratitude Work For You

In January, I had that awful call. I heard her say “You tested positive for Covid. You need to quarantine for 10 days and call your Doctor. If you have severe symptoms, go to the emergency room.”

My heart sank.

My Mother and I live together. She’s 82 years old and I call her the “Little Saint” because of her strong Catholic Faith. It’s so strong I call our house “Vatican Jr”. The Living Room is the “Large Chapel”. People call her to ask for prayers for certain situations - emergency surgeries, job interviews, hope for someone. She was equal opportunity and would never turn anyone down.

Immediately, I gloved and masked up around her. I was hoping she wouldn’t test positive, even though between my first symptoms (which I thought was just allergies) to my test results, it had been 4 days.

I took her to get tested. After I asked her how it was, she commented “Well, it was okay but it was all business.” Maybe she had avoided it.

We checked the result the next morning. “Virus Detected,” She was positive.

My heart fell into my feet. She is elderly, and while healthy, had some medical challenges. We were in for a ride.

We took care of each other as best we could. She tried to make me tea with lemon, I made sure we eat healthy to keep our immune system fighting, (Though, trust me, we had a night of ice cream for dinner and it was DELIGHTFUL.) We didn’t care if showering went down the priority list for a day or so.

Neither one of us were down so much we had to go to the emergency room. We were very lucky.

During that time of quarantine and lots of sleep (because I was extremely fatigued) I thought about the positives of the situation. The Little Saint and I were together, she was holding strong, I got to sleep like a boss and we had plenty of food in the house.

But I also got to thinking about gratitude. Covid sucks - how could I be grateful during this time? Was I not thinking clearly - was I being ridiculous?

Sometimes it depends on what glasses you put on to see a situation. If I just want to see what was wrong, I could feel my body start to get heavy and my shoulder slumping. If I looked for the things that were not so bad, I felt like the weight was lifted and my spirit was stronger.

This little experiment I did while having Covid was to only speak about the positive. Sometimes in discussions with the Little Saint about it, I would say “We shouldn’t have Covid and at least we have/are/do…” I felt we were more thankful and reframing what we were dealing with as an okay experience or sometimes even positive– and we were moving forward and looking forward to when we felt better.

Now, I don’t take away that some situations are just awful and heart-breaking. The Little Saint and I were able to stay home with Covid and were okay. I know that isn’t always the case. But when you’re in your own bubble, i.e. how it affects you, the situation is real and personal and our feelings about it are ours and unique. So how can we get through it?

First, acknowledging what the situation is. For us, Covid hit us and it hit us fast. No one wants to get a positive test but here it was. Asking why, how, and worrying about what was coming wasn’t going to change it. We had to take one day at a time, watch carefully and do everything in our power to take care of ourselves in case things turned.

Second, seeing if there is a silver lining. Were we able to pick each other up when the other was down? Yes. Were clients willing to work with me to reschedule appointments? Yes. Did I rock pajamas the whole time? Absolutely. Even the littlest thing can open up the mind to gratitude and create a snowball effect of even more. Why not have a lot of thoughts about what’s actually working in the situation (no matter how small) than what isn’t? Keeping your mind focused on the good things can actually help you problem solve easier because you’re looking for opportunities other than the doors that have closed.

Third, this type of thinking takes practice. It’s a skill and a mindset. So it’s okay if it’s a challenge to do at first. The more you build the muscle of gratitude, the stronger it gets. It’s a life changing attitude. If you’re used to thinking and working in another way, it takes time to change the habit or the usual go-to. Be confident it can change for you.

I am grateful The Little Saint and I are okay. There is always a way to get through things, look for three things you are grateful for, even if it’s small, because that will help your heart be a little (or even a lot) happier and your spirit stronger.

Be well and keep taking care of those you love, including yourself. It’s one of the best jobs ever.